Whether it was a crisis, a breakdown, an epiphany, or simply an awareness, I decided to call just now an “AH-HAH” moment. This morning started out, sadly as most others, by me waking up and taking no more than 15 minutes to brush my teeth, hair and get myself ready for the day. I started making Ashok’s breakfast and our tea and also his lunch to take to work; this morning it was one of his favorite delights: Uttapham. After that, I made homemade butter (I kid you not, it’s not complicated, but requires effort none-the-less) for the family to use later, the kids breakfast (luckily, Akshay did not want anything this morning), and the kids’ lunches to take to school; today, it was Mac-N-Cheese, fruit snacks, juice, crackers and cheese. After that I started the load of laundry, washed the morning’s dishes, cleaned the kitchen, made the beds, cleared the toys in the living room, and drove both kids to school.
Upon returning home and after eating my bowl of cold cereal and milk, I started contemplating on what should we make for tonight’s dinner. I was planning a meal that we were to have 10-hours later to the very fine details. And THAT is when I had the “Ah-hah” moment: What am I doing with my life? I started to think about going back to work, finding alternative hobbies, what would fulfill me the most? I ended my Ah-Hah moment with a decision to go the mall for today, a pathetic cop-out I know but apparently for me, shopping seems to heal all wounds. Sometimes sans money, it is just the process of going and seeing what is available. But this “AH-HAH Moment” will require further pondering and a firmer decision on what it means for me. I promise to myself not to forget this moment.